Birth

Brit Milah (know also as a Bris) has been a central part of welcoming a boy into the covenant and is inspired by God’s commandment to Abraham to circumcise himself and his sons as a sign of Abraham’s covenant with God. A Brit Milah is usually conducted on the 8th day of a boy’s life unless there is a medical reason why this should not happen. Because Jewish days start at night, it can sometimes be tricky to figure out when this occurs. If a baby is born before sunset, his bris will be the next week on the same calendar day (ex. if he is born at 1 PM on a Thursday, the Bris will be on the following Thursday). If he is born after sunset it will be a week later on the next calendar day (ex. if he is both at 10 PM on a Thursday, the bris will be on the following Friday). A Bris usually occurs in the morning, though many mohelim (professionals who perform brit milah) will accommodate early afternoon times. Brit Milah happens every day including Shabbat, however if one has a C-section on Shabbat it is customary to push the Bris to the following Sunday.

A Brit Milah ceremony has three sections. During the first third, prayers are recited to formally welcome the child into the Jewish people. During the second third, the surgery takes place by a mohel, a person trained in the ritual and the practice of circumcisions. See below for a list of suggested mohelim.

The final section is the naming. Here the child is given a Hebrew name. For families from Ashkenazi backgrounds, the child is often named after a loved one who has died. In Sephardi families, the child often will be named to honor someone who is living. All names follow the same pattern. A child is called [Hebrew name] bar [Father’s name] and [Mother’s name]. At CBE, children are named for both parents. At CBE, if one parent is not Jewish or does not have a Hebrew name we will still include their name alongside the other family member. If you need help choosing a Hebrew name please contact our clergy or visit our naming page for suggestions. Following the circumcision, it is customary to take part in a festive meal known as a Seudat Mitzvah.

The CBE clergy would be honored to attend your bris and officiate. We are happy to work with your Mohel to share the ceremony. While we are not trained in the act of circumcision itself we are happy to name your son and say the surrounding prayers. However, if it is better for your family we are also happy to attend as guests.

While there are dozens of mohelim, many congregants at CBE have had success with the following mohelim. Each is different and we recommend speaking with them about their approach and styles before committing.

Please note: None of these Mohelim engages in the practice known as Metzitzah B’Peh.

Suggestions:

• Emily Blake (M.D.)
• Rabbi Mark Cooper
• Lucy Eisenstein Waldman

Useful Websites for Brit Milah

• My Jewish Learning has information about the planning and history of a Brit Milah
• Kveller
• ReformJudaism.org
• Ritual Well

Giving a child a Hebrew name is considered one of the first Jewish gifts a parent can give a new baby. It is a tie to the past and a platform for their identity. So important are Hebrew names, say our Rabbis, that one of the reasons the Israelites were freed from Egypt is because in spite of becoming slaves they refused to give up their names.

Families usually choose to have baby namings at CBE if they have daughters or if they have sons who, for medical purposes, needed to have a circumcision in the hospital. Sometimes parents of a daughter will have a brit bat (a ceremony like a brit milah conducted on the 8th day for girls). Most families will have a naming ceremony for their child sometime within their first year of life.

The CBE clergy are excited to work with you to plan a naming in the synagogue. There are three services at which namings take place for members. The first, and most common service, is at our Saturday morning Shabbat services, starting at 9:30 AM. We will call you up to bless the Torah and give your child a Hebrew name. The ceremony lasts 5-10 minutes. Second, some families opt to have a naming at Shir L’Shabbat, our Shabbat music and prayer service for families and children ages 0-4. The services also start at 9:30 AM and last half an hour. Namings are usually done during story time (approx. 9:50 AM) and last only 2-3 minutes because of the age group of the participants. Finally, some families will opt to have the naming on Friday night as part of our Kabbalat Shabbat service. This service begins at 6:30 PM and the namings look very similar to those that take place at the main service on Shabbat morning.

Naming services follow a similar structure to a brit milah (with the exception of the surgery). We begin by welcoming the child formally into the Jewish people with a few prayers. Following this we give the baby a Hebrew name. Finally we say Kiddush, say the Shehekhianu (blessing for all joyous first in our tradition) and the baby receives the priestly benediction (the oldest blessing in the Jewish tradition).

When the child is given a Hebrew name, for families from Ashkenazi backgrounds this name is often the same name as a loved one who has died. In Sephardi families, the child often will be named to honor someone who is living. All names follow the same pattern. A child is called [Hebrew name] bar/bat [Father’s name] and [Mother’s name]. At Congregation Beth Elohim, children are named for both parents. If one parent is not Jewish or does not have a Hebrew name we will still include their name alongside the other family member.

Useful Websites for Choosing a Hebrew Name

• • All Hebrew Names has a great listing, though it may be a bit overwhelming
  • Kveller has a wonderful baby name finder.
  • The Reform Movement has great resources as well as articles on what to expect at a naming.

Please note: Namings can be done at any age. If you or your child does not have a Hebrew name we would be happy to name them or you at any time. There is something very beautiful about a grade-school age child choosing his or her own Hebrew name.

We know that there are many in our community who struggle with infertility. You are not alone. The CBE clergy are here to have a confidential conversation and can recommend resources and rituals to help you. We also know that sometimes the best way to feel less alone in a struggle is to find others who have struggled in the past. We have a number of people in our community who have struggled with infertility and would be happy to open their doors and their hearts to you.

Resources to help

• • AJewishBlessing – Help for families in need of egg donors and gestational carriers
  • http://www.hasidah.org/ – Contains resources as well as financial assistance for those dealing with infertility
  • http://www.puahonline.org/ – Supervision, counseling, and education for those facing infertility
  • Donor Concierge – Help finding a Jewish egg donor