It’s a truth universally acknowledged that terrible apologies are the worst. We’ve all been on the receiving end, and oh, how they make us seethe. Horrible public apologies—excuse-laden, victim blame-y, weaselly statements—often go viral instantaneously, whether they’re from a celebrity, a politician, or a blogger. We all recognize bad apologies when we hear them. So why is it so hard to apologize well? How can we do better? How could they do better?

Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy show us the way. Drawing on a deep well of research in psychology, sociology, law, and medicine, they explain why a good apology is hard to find and why it doesn’t have to be. Alongside their six (and a half)-step formula for apologizing beautifully, Ingall and McCarthy also delve into how to respond to a bad apology; why corporations, celebrities, and governments seldom apologize well; how to teach children to apologize; how gender and race affect both apologies and forgiveness; and most of all, why good apologies are essential, powerful, and restorative. A good apology can do so many things—mend fences, heal wounds, and bring more harmony into ourselves and our society at large.

With wit, deep introspection, and laugh-out-loud humor, Ingall and McCarthy’s guidance will help make the world a better place, one apology at a time.

“I’m sorry, but Sorry, Sorry, Sorry means that you no longer have an excuse for delivering anything other than a pitch-perfect apology. Ingall and McCarthy break down thorny questions…with grace and humor.” —Peggy Orenstein, bestselling author of Boys & Sex, Girls & Sex, and Cinderella Ate My Daughter

“Apologize and forgive: every person has these superpowers enabling a future without hate, anger, or retribution. Yet half-hearted or failed apologies compound hurts and insults. This smart and lively book offers invaluable guides to giving real apologies and to the critical roles of gender, race, and power relations in social expectations and results. Read it or be sorry!” —Martha Minow, Harvard University professor and author of When Should Law Forgive?

Marjorie Ingall, who goes by “Snarly” on SorryWatch.com, is the author of Mamaleh Knows Best: What Jewish Mothers Do to Raise Creative, Empathetic, Independent Children and The Field Guide to North American Males, and the coauthor of Hungry, with plus-size model Crystal Renn. A former columnist for Tablet magazine and the Forward, she is a frequent contributor to The New York Times Book Review and has also written for New York magazine, Town & Country, Ms., Glamour, Self, Elle, and Sassy (yes, that one). She lives in New York City.

Ron Lieber has been the Your Money columnist for The New York Times since 2008. His most recent book is The Price You Pay for College: An Entirely New Road Map for the Biggest Financial Decision Your Family Will Ever Make, and he also published The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money in 2015. Ron is a former CBE board member and led the cantorial search committee that hired Cantor Josh Breitzer.