Does my family need to be members to have a b’nei mitzvah at CBE?

Yes! To register for Yachad and to have your child’s b’nei mitzvah at CBE, your family must be members in good standing throughout the whole process. For more information and an application, check out our membership page. Contact Maribeth Batcha, Director of Membership Services and Engagement, with any questions. 

Where can we learn more about Yachad?

You can check out the Yachad page on our website and contact Zach Rolf, Director of Yachad, with questions about the program. For questions regarding registration or logistics, contact Adva Zingher, Youth and Families Coordinator. 

What if my child previously attended a different Hebrew school and we are joining for 6th grade?

While ideally fulfilled through Yachad, the three-year Hebrew school requirement can be started at a different Hebrew school. If your child attended another Hebrew school for 4th or 5th grade, they won’t be behind. The key is that they have attended Hebrew school for three years total, including at least two years at Yachad. 

What if my child is in Jewish day school?

Your child does not have to attend Yachad if they attend Jewish day school. Your family should attend the 6th grade b’nei mitzvah family meetings and your child will begin tutoring at CBE a year from the ceremony like other children in their b’nei mitzvah class. 

My child is in 6th grade and has never before gone to Hebrew school, and we are now considering joining CBE. Can they still become b’nei mitzvah at age 13?

Because of our three-year Yachad requirement, the earliest your child can become b’nei mitzvah at CBE will be during the second half of their 8th grade year. This has become quite commonplace in our community, owing to the many new families in our midst and the timing of children’s birthdays.

I know about bar and bat mitzvah. What does b’nei mitzvah mean?

B’nei mitzvah is the plural form of bar or bat mitzvah. Because it’s gender neutral we use it generally to refer to the child who is going through the process. However, your child will be called bar, bat, or b’nei mitzvah depending on their preference. 

How do I choose the date for my child’s b’nei mitzvah?

In the fall of the 5th grade year, you will receive an email from the B’nei Mitzvah Coordinator to begin the date selection process. You will submit five dates that work for your family. We work hard to ensure that every family receives one of the dates they request. We know that everyone is balancing many complicated schedules and factors. We try to prioritize assigning families  dates relatively close to the b’nei mitzvah’s 13th birthday. You will be notified of your date and whom you will be sharing it with in February of 5th grade. 

How does sharing a date work?

We are fortunate to have such a vibrant, growing community at CBE that almost every week we have two b’nei mitzvah share a ceremony as part of our Shabbat morning service. Each child has the opportunity to independently shine as they read Torah, Haftarah, and deliver a D’var Torah on their own. We find that the combination of two different voices and personalities enriches the service for everyone and many of our students feel reassured knowing they will have a peer to share the spotlight with on their special day. 

My child has learning differences. How can I ensure they are supported throughout the b’nei mitzvah process?

For children who are neurodiverse or have learning differences, Yachad has a full-time learning specialist on staff, Shayna Goodman, who will work with your family. Additionally, we regularly support families and children with a wide range of learning needs. We can ensure your child has their tutoring in person, gets paired with a tutor experienced in working with students with learning differences, and more.

What does family involvement in the process look like?

In the 6th grade year, families attend four programs at CBE. At these programs they learn about the b’nei mitzvah process from the clergy, meet the other families in their b’nei mitzvah year, and begin to learn about their child’s torah portion as a family. Parents are encouraged to attend Shabbat morning services in order to become familiar with the service. Parents are also required to usher three Shabbat morning services in the year leading up to the ceremony. 

How much interaction is there with the clergy?

A year out from the ceremony, you and your child will meet with Cantor Breitzer for an orientation meeting before tutoring begins. From there, the b’nei mitzvah student has a meeting with Cantor Breitzer every 6-8 weeks to check in on their progress. The b’nei mitzvah student also meets with a Rabbi as part of the d’var torah process. The week of the ceremony, the whole family attends a dress rehearsal with the Cantor and meets with the Rabbi who will be officiating the ceremony to discuss any questions or concerns. 

What is a Mitzvah Project?

As part of the 7th grade Yachad program, students complete a Mitzvah Project: a volunteer, service, or community-building activity that will help make a difference in our world. Each 7th grader can choose to participate in a guided project provided by Yachad or design their own Mitzvah project. Contact Rebecca Black, Yachad’s Social Justice Coordinator, with any questions. 

How does tutoring work?

In the year leading up to the ceremony, your child will meet with a b’nei mitzvah tutor weekly for half an hour to learn their torah portion, haftarah, and prayers. Tutoring can be over Zoom or in person as per your child’s learning style and after-school schedule.

What about writing a D’var Torah?

Four months before the ceremony, your child will be paired with a d’var torah tutor. They will have six sessions together. One of the CBE Rabbis will join the third session and provide feedback before the final session. 

How do I rent space at CBE for a luncheon or party after the ceremony?

Check out the rental page of our website and contact Kimberly Lisi with any questions. The rental prices change slightly every year. 

Can CBE recommend any event planners, photographers, places to buy Judaica etc?

Check out pages 10-12 of our B’nei Mitzvah Handbook for recommended vendors. 

How do I honor my family members as part of the ceremony?

One month before the ceremony, you will receive an email from the B’nei Mitzvah Coordinator detailing the honors options. You can check out page 8 of the B’nei Mitzvah Handbook for more information about the different opportunities to honor family members and friends. 

What time should we and our guests arrive on the day of the ceremony?

The b’nei mitzvah families generally arrive between 8:45-9:00 to take pictures and get set up. The guests should arrive in time for the service, which begins at 9:30. 

How long is the service?

Services generally end around noon. 

Where can I learn more? 

Check out our B’nei Mitzvah Handbook which details the process.

What if I have more questions about the b’nei mitzvah Process?

Contact Rana Bickel, our B’nei Mitzvah Coordinator.

Our child had a wonderful experience becoming b’nei mitzvah through CBE. How do they stay involved? 

CBE has a robust teen program. Students can continue to learn with Yachad, which in high school involves seminar-style learning with CBE clergy and educators. They can join our Madrichim Program, doing teen leadership and assistant Yachad teaching. There are also incredible travel opportunities with CBE clergy and educators on themes of civil rights, immigration justice, Israel, the history of Jews in Europe, and more. CBE also has a youth group called BESTY with social events for middle and high school students. For questions about any of these programs, check out the Teen Programming page on our website or contact Rose Snitz, our Teen and Music Engagement Director.